"... When you are wanting something that involves another person, and the other person is not wanting it,
then the first thing that happens is that you begin to notice that the other person doesn't want it.
And in your noticing that the other person doesn't want it, you become part of that vibration, so that it's easy to say "She doesn't want something that I want",
when your vibration in noticing that she doesn't want it, is as much a part of it as the initial vibration that she offered to begin with.
And so it becomes a process of mutual attraction or non-attraction.
And you see it with your children also, as they behave in a certain way, you come to expect that behavior from them, even though you might prefer another behavior. And so that expectation plays as large a role in what they offer you than their offering of it to begin with.
So, rather than - EVER - worrying about what somebody else is doing, rather than ever worrying about what anybody else is doing relative to you,
if you will concentrate ONLY upon what YOU want, and the way YOUR energy is flowing...
In other words, if you will concentrate, on how much YOU want her, and give no attention to the fact that she does or does not want you, then YOUR energy is pure.
And once your energy is pure, you begin an attraction from your partner that is more in harmony with your wanting.
Have you ever found yourself saying something that is utterly not like you, and you cannot imagine why you said that? You didn't mean to say it, you didn't want to say it, under any other circumstance you would've never said it. What happened was, you were interacting with somebody, whose expectation was so powerful, that they just sucked it right out of you.
[talking to the person in the hot seat] We don't feel strong resentment coming from you, in other words we feel some disappointment and some unsatisfied desire coming from you, but it isn't anything that is strong. We also can feel that the two of you are involved in a lot of things. In other words, there are only so many hours in a day, and so much attention that you can give to any one thing.
And so part of what is happening, is that [sex] just gets put in a place of secondary importance, because there are other things that the two of you are doing together that are of very great importance. What happens in a relationship, when two people come together initially, when they don't have a house that they're making together, they don't have children that they're raising together, they don't have ten hundred million thoughts that they're trying to integrate together.
In other words, they're coming together and they're just sort of simply enjoying one another, then there is a lot of room in their physical experience for the expression of the physical intertwining.
And so not only is it one of the most important parts of the relationship, but there are not a lot of other parts of the relationship.
But you said something very important, and we really want you to hear your own words, you were acknowledging so many aspects of your relationship that are extremely satisfying! The home making is satisfying, the thought intertwining is satisfying, the interaction with the children is satisfying! So your relationship has broadened in satisfaction to more than just the physical interaction. So when you look at it as a whole, you realize it has not become less than it was,
it has become so much more than it was. But when you look at that one facet of it, in terms of time, you say "That facet of it has been less than it was." Which makes you feel lack.
So as you acknowledge the magnificence of the relationship, and then you spend just a little more time focusing upon that one element that you're wanting more of, the Universe will begin to deliver opportunities that both of you will feel very comfortable within. ..."